typeshow

a rare american 2nd act by tim byrnes

People Are Garbage: The typeshow Manifesto

     "I, of course, believe in unlimited rights. I believe I should be able to do or say whatever I want. You, in turn, if you don't happen to like something I say or do, have the right to kill me."   ----------- George Carlin, 'It's Bad For Ya' HBO special 2007.

     Lester knows I've been going on and on about what I don't believe, which has made me wonder what, if anything, I do believe. Apart from the gentlemen's agreements of physics (fire's hot, water's wet etc.) there's very little I find believeable, let alone worth following, let alone submitting my will to, let alone dying for.

     I believe that god and america (or any deity or nation) exist as concepts only, and failed ones at that. And as concepts go they are truly great. I mean that. The IDEA of god, that there's a benevolent 'father in the sky' that will forgive us all the evil we do, and at heart, perhaps ARE, as well as the IDEA of america, that there stands this noble nation where all men are created equal are lovely lies, but lies, people, lies.

     The god that the xian right declares to be loving and merciful has, throughout the history of man (aka the history of murder), moved the faithful to burn witches, commit genocide upon various 'infidel' civilizations (all the while swiping their 'hero stories' and co-opting their legends and holidays/holy days. See: Mitra, Oester. Gilgamesh etc.), imprison scientists for disagreeing w/their fairy stories (and calling it heresy), oppress the homosexual community while orchestrating a cover up of Nixonian proportions when it turns out they've been fucking little boys left and right etc. etc. And I'm sorry, but there aren't enough bake sales or Save the Childrens to offset that type of sustained and evil, that's right I said evil, hypocrisy.

     And america. Please. Founded by the slaveowner Jefferson who crowed 'all men are created equal' w/a straight face. And, yes, I'm going to keep bringing that up because it proves my thesis that america's been a sham from the word 'go' so perfectly that I dare anyone to convince me that it's anything else.

     Sarah Palin'll be in the White House before that'll happen.

     Actually, I ought to take that back 'cause there probably ARE enough stupid people to put the Idiot Palin in the Oval Office.

      Though the smart money says she'll wind up on Fox News where she can be hated professionally. And make scads more money which is all she's interested in anyway. I mean how anyone w/half a brain can stoop to decipher, let alone support, let alone believe the Burroughs cut-up sounding crap that comes out of that woman's mouth is beyond me.

      Yeah I'm gonna pick on Palin, not only because it has the added attraction of pissing Jim off, but because her status as a National Figure is emblematic of why we are doomed. She appeals to the 'lesser angels of our nature', the bigots, the gun nuts (as opposed to responsible gun owners, there's a difference. I know this because I sell cigarettes to both types every day), the weak minded types who applaud lines like ".... I'm going to fight for you, for what's right and for truth." without expecting, let alone DEMANDING, she might be a trifle more specific about what's 'right' or what might constitute the (snicker) 'truth'.

     No, let the pretty lady bloviate, she understands us.

     That's because yr both morons.

     I hope that she and Cheney and Rumsfeld and Gingrich, et. al. just break off from the Republican Party and just get it over with and start the Crazy Ass White People's Party, getting all the rednecks who've been preventing us from becoming a more progressive and, yes, European, nation in a circle where the rest of us who actually think can keep our eyes on them. These christofascist wingnuts need to be marginalized if we as a species are going to survive. Remember, it's the True Believers who fly airplanes into buildings and it will be True Believers who destroy the world. Bet me. Anyone who starts sentences w/the words 'Oh, Heavenly Father....' is NOT to be trusted w/nuclear weapons as they act upon the fantasy based belief that they know the capital T Truth, which they of course can't, because no such Truth exists, at least none that can be proven. Yet. But that doesn't stop the faithful of all stripes. A message to xianity, judaism, islam etc.: YOU CAN'T ALL BE RIGHT! AND ACTUALLY Y'ALL MIGHT BE COMPLETELY WRONG!! REALLY!!!!!

     But I digress........

     I've been accused, by Jim, of thinking that Barack Obama is the saviour of the world. Piffle. For one thing it assumes that the world CAN be saved. For another it assumes that the world DESERVES to be saved. I, of course, believe neither. And it never broaches the questions 'saved from what?' or 'saved for what?' A totally meaningless accusation. It's my belief that Obama's a punk. He lied about repealing Dont Ask, Don't Tell, he's thus far been so invested in creating a nonexistent, and unneccesary, bipartisanship w/the redneck monkeys who hate him anyway, as to accomplish less than nothing. I was naive enough to think that the war criminals Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld would be in jail by now, along w/John Yu and Alberto Gonzales, and the one time he spoke real words ('The Cambridge Police acted stupidly.') he backpedaled so fast he almost went back in fucking time. Punkass, as opposed to punk rock.

     No, Obama's just another politician. Perhaps the smartest one we've produced since the racist Jefferson, but a game player nonetheless. Mr. Smith will never go to Washington without getting eaten alive. And I hate myself for believing for even a minute that it was ever any different.

     Health Care Reform? Do you really think the Insurance Industry will let that happen? We've been trying for it since Truman was president to no avail. Where do YOU think the real power lies in america. And, trust me, the real power lies in america. Think about it. 'Lies' can be an ACTIVE verb.

     There is, I think, no stimulus or government program big enough, or smart enough or caring enough to fix what we have let break through our self-satisied inaction. There is, I think, no revolution pure hearted or ruthless enough (and you apparently have to be both to succeed as a revolution) to overthrow the power structure we have allowed reign over these centuries. To paraphrase Ledger's Joker 'We have nothing to threaten them with. Nothing to do w/all our strength.' Because as americans our strength is as consumers and cannon fodder,  these citizens who cite human rights as we watch our neighbors starve on a daily basis. Here we are now, entertain us.

     We are being played by all we hold dear. Nothing more, nothing less. Kill yrself now and avoid the rush.

     "Of course there's always the guy who says 'Everyone has a right to their opinion'. It's gonna get to the point where yr just gonna say 'It's my opinion that you have no right to yr opinion', then just shoot the fuck and walk away."   ----------- George Carlin, 'It's Bad For Ya' HBO special 2007.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Once again, she's all yrs, Jim, I'm off to twitter to fuck w/Sarah Palin personally. 'bye everybody - y'all got my email address, right?


tb

posted by: timbyrnes at 18:03 | link | comments (14) |

The Rumors of my Death Have Been Greatly Anticipated

     I see in my abscence that Jim is still yodeling down the well back at an earlier post. Still repeating  the same old ideas and names. Palin. Plumber. Laughable, really, except for the fact that there are people out there that think they are great Americans because they support lies disguised as straight talk and people who think they are blessed by god because they accept facts without any evidence at all. Palin is an idiot. Joe the Plumber is less than an idiot and Jim and I are less than both because at least they have injected themselves onto the national stage w/quite frankly, about as much political expertise as Jim or I have.

     Then ya got the birthers. I won't dignify such nonsense by pissing on it. Their idiocy is self evident. Now while Jim has been yodeling down the echo chamber of his own beliefs, I, yr humble narrator, have been sick w/an infected tooth that basically tried to kill me.

    Actually, the welfare dentist said that if I had let it go much longer the infection could have reached my brain and (in her words) 'kill you like that!'

     So I live to write another day to put up w/the midnight Spammer and his midnight spams. Hell, at least while he's posturing here he isn't poioning his children w/his drivel. Actually Jim, I don't know how many jobs yr currently working, but I'd suggest you get another one just to pay for the therapy those poor kids are gonna need.

     And, no, I'm not attacking yr children, Sarah Palin, I'm attacking you. Love thy fucking neighbor and shut up.

     Or do what yr beloved Sarah Palin (she is hot, I'll give her that) did and just quit.

tim

posted by: timbyrnes at 19:03 | link | comments (3) |

Death of a Disco Dancer

     Gotta be quick, using laptop @ rob's house and am heading out to make Flashback noises in just minutes. Some thoughts:


 Michael Jackson is not dead. Possibly. Check it out: the cat's 50, on serious drugs, weighs about 12 lbs w/rocks in his pockets and is facing the prospect of a grueling 50 show stretch that involves massive amounts of spinning around and walking backwards.

I figure by the 2nd week of rehearsals he realizes that there's no way he's gonna pull this off. "We're", he squeaks, "not gonna make it to show #3. This is horrible! Whattamah gon' do?!!" Suddenly a voice, probably imagined, intones......

      WHAT WOULD ELVIS DO?

Why, fake his death! Dig, Michael Jackson records are selling like relevant hotcakes and the brother ain't had to leave the house. There is, of course, a massive video project in the pipe, ready to party like it's 1983 and the money will roll like the heads should. And at this moment Michael Jackson is laughing his plastic ass off in Costa Rica, surrounded by underage boys drinkin' Jesus Juice.

Either that or his crazy as a football bat dad just turned the hyberbaric chamber's setting to 'toast' one night 'cause he was sick of his crazy ass son and wanted his own damn record company (distributed by BluRay) thank you very much.

Either that or the self-proclaimed (look it up) King of Pop is well and truly dead, in which case perhaps he is looking down on us and smiling.

Or looking up at us and screaming.

posted by: timbyrnes at 18:17 | link | comments (2) |