typeshow

a rare american 2nd act by tim byrnes

 

Withering Into Competence: What Have You Done to The New York Dolls?

The opening, and title cut of the new New York Dolls record 'Cuz I Sez So!' begins w/such a barrage of finely tuned Les Pauls and Marshalls that are EQ'ed and processed w/in an inch of their lives, cleanly arranged and executed to maximize 'hot-rockin'' impact that I thought I had mistakenly purchased a Boston record. Produced by Steve Miller. But no, checking the CD cover it's indeed the New York Dolls. Produced by Todd Rundgren.

 They got it right the 1st time.

 Of course it's unfair to expect the remaining Dolls, JoHansen and Sylvain, to match the tomcat swagger of that classic 1st album, let alone the ultracompetent studio cats they got dressed like Johnny Thunders behind them. But this record, while fun, misses the smart raggamuffin/lovesick hepcat mark of what made the Dolls the Dolls by such a long length that, much like their 2nd record, 'Too Much, Too Soon', it merely serves to remind of a greatness that was.

 There's a lot of that going around. The new Randy Newman album, while wonderful because it's a Randy Newman record (guilty pleasure, what can I tell ya?) is also a celebration of recycled riffs, albeit immaculately recorded. Seems like everyone from Aerosmith to ZZ Top (coming soon to yr town!) is cranking out digitally perfected versions of their high school selves and this disturbing trend has wound up w/a New York Dolls record that's essentially REO Speedwagon w/a Brooklyn accent.

 And that does none of us any good. It's like the Dolls after all this time decided to take all those 'these guys can't play' accusations to heart and, in the most counterintuitive career move since Neil Young went Techno, decide to polish their act to the point where they're unrecognizable from any other State Fair Classic Rock All-Star band, and that's a damn shame people 'cause I'm talking about, like, Foghat and these cats used to be the New York Dolls.

 Shortly after they fizzled out the 1st time, the Dolls sporadically regrouped for quick cash shows under the name 'Rent Party' (See what I mean? These guys used to have a sense of humor. Now all we got is the all to true 'This Is Ridiculous' from the new CD). And who can blame a man or band for trying to get paid, especially after being criminally ignored when all you did was put out one of the greatest records of the 70's?

 I find it odd that yr typical Indie-rocker, myself included, often model themselves after a 'critic's favorite' type (Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, Big Star etc.) who, while enjoying major status and perhaps even decent sales NOW, started off being largely ignored, or in the case of the Velvets and Dolls vilified, by the masses at the outset of their careers. In other words, many an Indie-rocker type starts off thinking "Hey, THESE GUYS didn't sell hardly any records at all! Let's do what THEY did!" I guess maybe the 'hipper than thou' thing is kinda it's own reward and hey, you never know when a David Bowie'll come along and tell all the suburban white kids that it's OK to like you (See: Reed, Lou; Pop, Iggy). There's a real us against them thing in punk or Indie or whatever you want to call it, and w/'Cuz I Sez So', one of our founders has gone over to the other side. I only recommend one buy this record as a payback to JoHansen and Sylvain for the 1st record.

 And go out and buy the 1st one, too. It'll make you lose all respect for Aerosmith. 

posted by: timbyrnes at 03:28 | link | comments (12) |

Opinions Are Like Mothers: Everybody's Got One and Some of Them Ain't Pretty

 

    So once again we find ourselves teetering on the brink of perhaps the stupidest battle in the Culture Wars, ie: Byrnes v. Muglia (otherwise known, at Jim's house I guess, as Muglia v. Byrnes) ; I think that, in his mind, Jim's ratcheted this ridiculous argument up to the absurd level of Good v. Evil when really it's just MSNBC v Fox News.

     That is Pinhead v. Pinhead.

     That is, 2 ill informed but agenda wielding loudmouths spinning the way they've processed what information they've chosen to accept (and, conversely, that which they reject) as if it were that flimsiest of phantoms: the gods' honest truth.

     Jim speaks from conviction while I freely admit to having no convictions. I don't understand why being a 'person of conviction' is considered such a  great thing when all I see it as meaning is that you've been convinced of something. You've accepted someone else's capital 't' Truth as yr own. And as a result you stop questioning that particular line of thought. Talk about intellectual laziness.

     See when someone challenges yr beliefs w/their beliefs in the guise of debate, they really just want to convince you that they are capital 'r' Right. Whereas my rejection of god as nothing more than a largely misused concept and religion as a scam comes from my honest belief that they're both obviously (again, to me) ridiculous devices employed since the Bronze Age*
 to get kids to eat their spinach, I have no burning desire to convince ANYONE that I'm right. There is of course the possibility that I'm wrong. I don't think so, but I could be wrong. And I refuse to engage in conversation anyone who cannot admit the same thing. Especially when discussing things like what god was doing on the FIRST DAY EVER or attempting to defend the Catholic Church's official policy of covering for pedophiles.

     ....... or attempts to reconcile 'Thou shalt not kill' w/Holy War.
     ....... or justifies the denial of Gay Rights by citing Leviticus.
      ....... or wishes that Jesus would hit me w/a 2x4. Actually there, Jim, I think you've confused the New Testament w/'Walking Tall'.

     The bottom line is Jim and I play verbal ping pong regarding things we can't possibly know and serve no purpose at all except maybe to be vacuously emblematic of the absurdity of the argument to begin with. Kinda like how it's a good idea to put the Nazis on 'Geraldo' so we can ALL be ashamed of ourselves.

     Hell, Noth Korea's probably gonna blow us all to hell in the next couple of days and this will all be moot anyway. But if he won't go away and this 'conversation' persists then all I can promise is I'll try to be entertaining because nothing will be accomplished because nothing CAN be accomplished.

     Or we could talk about the New York Dolls.

(* - And there was an interesing question put forth in Bill Mahrer's film 'Religulous', that being "Are here any other beliefs from the Bronze Age we stll cleave to?" Well, I thought it was interesting.)

posted by: timbyrnes at 00:52 | link | comments (2) |

If At 1st You Don't Succeed .....

....... give up. No sense making a damn fool of yrself.

posted by: timbyrnes at 04:54 | link | comments (4) |

Technophobe At Play: Try This @ Home

Hi folks, tried to upload an old (1983) Tension Envelopes performance as an experiment. Let;s see how I did ......

posted by: timbyrnes at 04:40 | link | comments (3) |

The Gods Are Useless: Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

 

     OK enough of this Envelope nonsense (for now), it's time to look outward into the real world again. And cringe.

     Where to begin? Let's see. I'm saddened by President Obama's reversal of his campaign promise of total transparency by refusing to end the tribunals, release the prisoner abuse photos and, to my mind his biggest shame, his failure to live up to his promise of human rights for all by not discarding the "Dont ask, don't tell" policy.

     Don't ask, don't tell. Say it out loud and see how ridiculous it is. Gay men and women have served their countries FOREVER, PEOPLE!!!! And the closest our government will come to acknowledging this is, essentially "Oh, sure, you can fight and die for a country that allows you to fight and die, but only if you deny completely who and what you are because, as we're all good Christians, it really creeps us out."

     Somehow the lesson that shoots out of this ridiculous situation is 'THOU SHALT NOT LIE, UNLESS OF COURSE YR GAY AND WE NEED YOU TO KILL SOMEONE (See:Thou Shalt Not Kill). And people wonder why some of us think religion is as ridiculous and dangerous as Nationalism.

     Check it out, while America is not officially a Christian Nation,let's face it, we ACT like a Christian Nation (Bible quotes on Terror briefings?! Rick Warren moderating Presidential Debates?!) and actions do speak louder than words. Our last President, the war criminal Bush, tells the press (The Press!!) that God spoke to him directly and that the Iraq War is some kind of Holy Mission. Sentiments echoed by the Idiot Palin and, I fear, not so secretly held by waaaaaay to many people in positions of power.

     And our enemies are no better! The out of the closet theocracies of Israel and the loosely defined Arabic Nations all are driven by the basic assumption that their God can beat up everybody else's God, resulting in the never ending circle jerk of Holy War that can only end in the mutually assured destruction of the true believer.

     If it was an episode of 'Star Trek' it'd be clear as day: Different planetary factions continually at war w/each other because they worship different deities based on misinterpreted folk tales. It would be funny if it weren't so life threateningly sad.

     If God and Jesus and Allah and Mohammed and Krishna and Buddah and all those anthropomorphic symbols of 'goodness' actually exist, I believe they all must be out there somewhere laughing their asses off.

     At us.

posted by: timbyrnes at 19:38 | link | comments (8) |

Me, I'm In a Rock and Roll Band: The Ballad of Flashback

 

     In the rush of Envelopia, reuniting w/old friends and singing the songs of my youth last month I've been giving Flashback the short end of the stick here lately and for that I apologize, cause even Simmons and Neblung will tell ya, we smoked us. Actually Flashback smoked EVERYBODY at that gig and the audience noise on the CD tells the tale (and, yes, I'll have the CDs of both sets available online as soon as I figure out how to do it. And I will, believe me).

     At Dan's house, the week after the gig sitting around the table listening to the cassette of the set Dan said 'It's cool how nobody tried to run over anybody else." To which I answered "Fuck you, I was trying to blow you ALL away but you wouldn't let me!' And I meant it. I went out w/six guns a-blazing that  night. Hell, Neblung and Simmons were out there. I had to impress my homeboys, not to mention the lovely Elaine White from the Fowler Tribune. I mean I had to let her know she'd backed the right horse, giving us so much press. I held nothing back on the guitar, maybe for the 1st time w/Flashback and I'll be damned (probably) if those three, Dan Guerra on drums, Rob Poulignot on guitar and lead vocals and the legendary Kenny Morgan on bass played at a level I honestly didn't think they were capable of. As we were sitting in Dan's kitchen, basking in the glow of our own greatness, Dan spoke perhaps the truest words regarding the Flashback experience. He said 'We worked really hard for this."

     And he was right. Some 10 years ago Dan and I met through an ad he'd placed in the local paper - and get this -  DAYS AFTER HE'D HYPED HIS NEW 'BAND' TO A LOCAL CLUBOWNER. Dan was getting us gigs before he met us. That's the faith part, the mad faith of rock and roll that somehow is it's own reward. We met up and played our 1st gig within 3 weeks. Now, keep in mind that I hadn't played a real gig in maybe 5 years, Kenny hadn't really gigged in 10 years and neither Rob nor Dan had EVER played out before. Hell, Rob was playing the bass HE'D BOUGHT FOR HIS SON 2 weeks before the 1st Flashback rehearsal. We aced the gig. Truly it was perfect. Everybody danced, we got paid and even asked back.

     Over the last 10 years we've had our ups and downs but the thread running through the entire decade was growth. On the basic level this growth was reflected in Rob's oddyssey from bass owner to bass played to rhythm guitarist to 2nd lead guitarist to lead vocalist. Reflected in the way we went from small house parties to regular bar gigs to a Battle of the Bands where we placed 4th out of 8 bands to a two month stand in La Junta hosting an open mic night to finally The Rock and Roll Food Drive, where we played so well even WE were surprised.

   The key word, I fear, in that last sentence is 'finally'. It became apparent that Dan was hurting and hurting badly by the end of the set. He has an ailment that causes his legs to swell up and my man was in serious pain that night and still turned in an outstanding set, culminating in a drum solo on 'I Just Wanna Make Love to You'. Cheered on by a rabid crowd that included his wife and son, Dan fought through what had to be intense pain to deliver the goods. Perhaps for the last time.

    Relax, relax, he's not DYING or anything, he just hasn't been able to bend his right leg since the gig. He's in physical therapy and while anything is possible, especially in Rock and Roll, there's a better than good chance that Dan may not play again and, if that's the case, then neither will Flashback. Like Kenny said just this morning 'We're all like 5 fingers on the same hand.' (I know there's only 4 of us, but you know what he means. At least I do.) And the bond we've forged these last ten years transcends guitars and amps and arrangements and set lists and all the mechanics of the Rock and Roll Band, landing firmly in the spiritual comfort of a brotherhood; we've all become different, better people because of the work we've done, the conversations we've had and, most importantly, the things we've accomplished.

     I mean, Dan's Imaginary Band smoked Tension Envelopes. It don't get any sweeter than that.

    

posted by: timbyrnes at 07:43 | link | comments (1) |

Attention, Envelopes

Hey guys, can't get my email to open so I figured I'd post here, since the freakin' page came up! I've figured out how to convert from wma to wav and, as a resullt can copy CDs  that'll play EVERYWHERE! i'll put 'em on lulu for sale/download asap. Also, Simmons, got the Divine Comedy CDs today (just now, actually) THANK YOU!!!! I really love 'Regeneration' and am looking forward to REALLY listening to these Have been working graveyards this weekend, and just pulled a 10 hr 2nd shift so Ima gone sleep now. Will type soon.

ps. new tunes a'coming (sample line: You should always be nice to funeral directors because they can make you look stupid when yr dead/you should always be nice to psychiatrists because they can tell the cops what goes on in yr head)

love you guys, just not in THAT way,
tim.

posted by: timbyrnes at 04:41 | link | comments (3) |

New Envelope Song? Hmmmmmmmmm, Could Be!

( here's the lyrics to a song I wrote this morning. let me know what you think.   tb)


 Hate is the New Love

Looking back, over my shoulder
Thinkin' 'Damn, that's a long ass road'
And it's littered w/some small triumphs, sure
And what looked like victory would usually explode in my face
And if I were to trace every tragic mistake this old man ever made or will make
It'd look like 'The Pocket History of the Human Race'
And if you think that makes me happy yr wrong.
Now sing w/me this funeral song

Hate is the new love. We are what we're not.
Hate is the new love 'cause that's all we got

Looking out an third floor window
Thinkin' 'Damn, when did this get here?'
The cars have no specific color now,
And the air feels like it's been shrinkwrapped and made out of fear
And year after year in this worldly career we trample on everything someone holds dear
And offer the carnage as proof that our collective conscience is clear.
And if you think that makes me happy yr wrong.
Cause this is a protest song

Hate is the new love......

And I ain't got no invisible man
To hold me in his invisible hands
And carry me to safety, away from what I am
I will not rest in an invisible land
Or burn by an invisible command
But, if I'm damned, I'll be damned if we're not all damned.

Hate is the new love...............

Looking back, over my shoulder
Thinkin' 'Damn, that's a long ass road.'

posted by: timbyrnes at 08:05 | link | comments (6) |

The Cashier Who Would Be King of Rock and Roll

       Ah, the old devil/philosopher came creepin' in w/the hangover and here (s)he still lies, clouding the mind and blackening the heart w/that classic existentialist drug of choice: the truth.

     Note the lowercase 't', please.

     I'm not talkin' 'Absolute Truth' here, as I don't think that particular widget exists, but just the lies of the mind (and you got yrs like I got mine, the same only different) that harp and harp on the absurdity of my conceit that I'm some kinda artist when, and it's been apparent over the 5 years of planning and announcements both here and on the late and maybe lamented punkrockblues, I'm little more than a middle aged Convenience Store clerk (and part time, at that!) w/delusions of adequacy and, perhaps, a way w/words. And therein, I think, lies the crux of my problem.

     I'm all talk and no action. Yeah, I 'organized' the Food Drive, which, as I've mentioned, consisted of asking for a key, paying 50 dollars and making maybe 6 phone calls. I'm not belittling the day; it remains the high point of my life, Rick and Carl trekking miles into my prairie of disappointment to spark anew a fire long thought dead. I still have what might be called faith in the music of Tension Envelopes, and by extention, my own tunes. Maybe just not enough  faith, certainly not today.

     And that's, as the sages say, OK.

     See, I know this is a passing phase. It always is. Unfortunately, so are the phases when I fell focused and energized. And even when those days come (and until this funky fugue, they'd been lasting weeks! Months!) I waste much of it in blather and grandiose, scattershot plans involving drum machines and theatrical productions of Rock Operas designed to raise Lester from the dead to lead the ovation when, in small 't' truth, all I've done is write 3 lousy songs. And trust me, I know when I'm good and I know when I'm lousy and these 3 are lousy.

     Again, that's OK. The Mouth shall rise again. I've got at least one good record left in me, though I fear I may have to produce it out of spite when I really (small 'R') want to produce it, or anything really, out of love. There, I said (typed) it. For that one shining hour, as hokey as that sounds, on stage being Tension Envelopes, I felt  (hokey alert) small 't' truly alive, surrounded not by assassins, but by people who loved me and that the music emanating from that stage, for all it's helicopter wash cacophony and lyrical talk of suicide and drugs, was a service to the light - you know something good. Maybe even Uppercase 'G' Good. And that's a lot to hang on 15 songs written by a twentysomething drunk.

     But that, along w/the best friends in the world and a job that, while not The Dream, is a place where I have purpose and (here's that word again) community and make enough money to keep a roof over the heads of myself and my furry crew; those cats and dogs who I love and love me and never let me forget that I'm not alone and my 'little band' Flashback, who may or may not ride again but have etched their experience into my heart and almost enough equipment to record and e-share whatever howling strummers I can come up with and seriously good connections w/an almost local and suddenly thriving folk scene and folks trippin' over themselves to help me get there, is all I've got.

     Hmmmmmmmm.

     OK, pity party's over. I hate to admit how good it felt to get all that out, but I feel better; realize I'm blessed (and, no, I don't know by whom) and have work to do. Just like everybody else. I love you, my brothers, sisters and all those souls at sea in between, thanks for letting an old man bitch.

tb

posted by: timbyrnes at 16:44 | link | comments (6) |

Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing

     Well here I am and here we go: two nights ago I got drunk. Went down to Scratch's, the local bar where my sister works, w/my buddy Steve, ostensibly to talk to Ed the Bartender about a gig there for Flashback. We got there at seven, and within 10 minutes I realized that Ed just wants to get together w/me at my sister's house to jam. He's apparently a harp player. But as I was talking w/him I ordered a draft and it went down so sweet I ordered another one, which led to a 5 hour excursion into what I know damn well is absolutley no good for me.

      The good news is that, while I got really buzzed, I didn't make an ass out of myself. The better news is that, while I was really hungover yesterday, I didn't go out and get more beer. I'm still a little fuzzy, but not guilt ridden in the least - hey, I did it, it's done and the only casualty was my cell phone, which I found in the toilet yesterday morning. I always hated that cell phone, but this being the 21st century I'll have a replacement in a few days (and the 'inner circle' will get that new number.)

     Yes, I'm arrogant enough to think my friends are an inner circle, but we all got one right? And it's to these people I make the above admission/confession and it's to them, and anyone else reading this, I promise to take the lesson that I cannot drink anymore.

     In other news: Flashback's got a gig coming up in Pueblo. Me and Steve went to this joint called Sir Richard's, Steve knows the owner. He, the owner, heard 2 songs from the Food Drive cassette and gave us the 3rd Saturday in May, the 24th I think, 4 days before my 54th {!} birthday. Didn't even have to drink. I had a coke, which believe me, is what I'll do next time and every time thereafter.

     While I can't think of a better way to settle into late middle age that bustin' Mustang Sally out for workin' folks, I fear that Flashback might br nearing it's end. Today (the 4th) makes it exactly a month since the Food Drive and Dan's drums are still stacked in his bedroom while Kenny's bass and Rob's amp are still in my living room. Dan's leg is still swollen and, I guess it's the late middle age blues just keeping us from getting off our asses and playing. Frankly I'm tired of putting in so much work w/so little support from my band. Whining, I know, but facts are facts. I think Dan's health is going to derail the treain soon anyway, so I'm figuring the Pueblo gig will be a farewell show, whether we know it or not - and at this stage I'm not even certain the guys'll DO the gig. Too much time listening to the tape and talking 'bout how great  we are. Maybe we think we can't top the Food Drive. I think we can, but in any event, I just feel that this ten year project, the Special Olympics of Rock and Roll, has run it's course.

      That's OK, though, I have a new commitment to sobriety and a V-coustic and big plans to enter the Pueblo Music Scene, both as a solo act and a freelance blues guitarist. There'll be jams in Dan's basement again, I hope, but I can't afford to wait around anymore. You see what I come up w/when I have too much time on my hands.

     Once again, I'm fine. Yes, I screwed up. Hell, I might screw up again, but I'm not gonna screw up today. And that's how ya do it.

posted by: timbyrnes at 17:42 | link | comments (3) |